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How
to do it right, or leave it out.
 By
Larry Getlen
You’re at a party. Your friend’s sister’s cousin from Montana
tells a joke about a talking flounder, a one-armed fisherman, and a
Jesuit priest from Nantucket, and you haven’t laughed this hard since
your Uncle Mel accidentally turned the Thanksgiving turkey into a stew.
But your memory for jokes is not the best, as you learned that time you
told your co-worker, “Take my wife...ummm...tonight?”
So, if you hear a joke you love, how do you ensure it stays in your
memory?
Write
it down
Excuse yourself, find a pen and jot it on a piece of paper. If you
can’t find paper, use a napkin or a matchbook cover.
But if you can’t find a pen, pick up your cell phone and tell the joke
to your voice mail. Not only can you write it down later, but this also
gives you your first shot at telling the joke.
In fact, try to tell the joke to someone else in the next 24-48 hours,
and do it more than once. If you wait several weeks to tell it, you may
have forgotten the important points. Also, keep a “joke” file on
your computer. Update it whenever you hear a joke you like, making sure
to include the important words, phrases and punch line.
Hand
out parts…in your head
If the joke is about three city guys trying to corral a herd of bison,
what if you imagine your dad, your brother, and that nerdy guy Jim from
your office as the three guys? I mean, dad trying to herd bison? He
can’t change his oil without ruining a shirt! And Jim, the computer
geek who once got his tie caught in the copy machine?
You get the point. The more you personalize the joke in your head, the
more visual you make it for yourself, the easier it will be to recall
at a later date.
Get
to know the joke - rehearse
Repeating jokes out loud gets you used to the act of telling them and
that’s what will make you remember them. Repetition is key in
memorizing anything, and being comfortable with your jokes is key to
being funny. So print out your joke file, stand in front of your
favorite mirror and speak as if you’re talking to a good friend.
Repeating your jokes also helps you gauge their pace and their rhythm:
where to pause, where to speed up and where to edit. One important tip
– if you’re saying the joke out loud and you start to bore yourself,
shorten the joke. Figure out what can be cut without killing the laugh.
Remember: The shorter the joke, the easier it is to remember.
One last word on memorization and preparation: If you don’t have a
joke sufficiently memorized so that you’re 100 percent sure you can
tell it with confidence, hit every key piece of information and get the
punch line exactly right – don’t tell it. Period.
How
to do it wrong.
So now here you are, at your nephew’s wedding. You hear laughter from
the other side of the room, and it’s your Uncle Jack, telling jokes to
several of his fishing buddies and some ladies from the other side of
the family. Here’s your chance.
But before you wade in, let’s listen in on ole’ Uncle Jack:
“Alright, my turn, my turn. This joke is the funniest joke you’ve
ever heard – you’re gonna die! Alright – so a priest, a rabbi and
an octopus are floating in a hot-air balloon over the Eiffel Tower. The
three of them are starting to sink, and they’re afraid they have too
much weight to land safely. So the rabbi says to the octopus...hold on.
So the priest says to the rabbi...wait, I mean, the rabbi says to the
octopus...yeah, that’s it. The rabbi says to the octopus...”
We’ll stop here; this is painful enough. Now, let’s examine the many
mistakes dear Uncle Jack has already made – mistakes you’ll want to
avoid any time you’re telling a joke:
Don’t tell
racially sensitive jokes. There is a difference between jokes
involving race, and racist jokes. However, everyone has a different
barometer for this, and what may seem harmless to you may offend someone
else. Unless you’re absolutely sure that you know the sensibilities of
the people involved, err on the side of caution and keep race and
religion out of it.
The same goes, by the way, for sexual material and profanity. Unless you
know your listeners well enough to know they’re cool with it, leave it
out.
Never start
off by telling your audience how funny the joke is. There’s
no upside to it. Just tell the joke, and let the listeners judge.
Comedians don’t come out on stage and tell the audience how funny they
are, and neither should you.
Make sure you
have the joke memorized, and in order. Once you have to double
back and inter-rupt your momentum to give the audience information you
forgot to give them in the first place, the joke’s dead.
This is most
important. If you’re gonna tell a joke about an octopus,
don’t put him in a hot-air balloon. Everyone knows octopi are afraid
of heights.
So Uncle Jack gets through the horrible octopus joke and before anyone
else can speak, he says, “Wait – I’ve got one more.” Everyone in
ear-shot fidgets. No one looks him in the eye. Several people glance at
their watches. But before anyone can make a graceful exit, he launches
into another one. And since he’s such a good example of what not to
do, let’s stick with him for a minute:
Doing
it wrong – the sequel
“So there’s this Frenchman, Jacques,” says Uncle Jack, who
then starts speaking in what is supposed to be a French accent, but
sounds more like he’s gargling with glass. “Jacques tells his friend
Pierre, ‘Eye em in zee kitcheeeeen, waiting for deeees-ert.”
Suddenly and inexplicably, Uncle Jack sounds Southern. He has also
scrunched up his face in what he thinks is a snobby French pose, but
really looks like he has something in his eye. So, let’s learn from
his mistakes.
Don’t do an
accent unless you know you can do it perfectly – which means
keeping the exact same accent from the beginning of the joke to the end.
When telling jokes, close enough is not good enough. Do it right, or
leave it out.
Unless you graduated from mime school, leave the funny faces and
voices at home. Like the accent, if your antics are not
perfect, they’ll merely call attention to how imperfect they are, and
detract from the joke.
Do not – under any circumstances except for maybe a fire –
interrupt your own joke in the middle. Jokes require timing and
momentum. If you stop your own joke in the middle, you’ve killed your
own momentum.
Almost ready…
So, now you know how to memorize and prepare your joke, and what
awful habits to avoid. Anything else to keep in mind before slaying your
crowd with your blazing wit?
Sure – here are a few additional pointers:
If something out of your control interrupts you in mid-joke,
take a minute to see what happens. The momentum is probably dead, but if
your listeners return their attention to you hoping to hear the rest,
pick up where you left off. Do not make a big deal about the
interruption. What if they don’t return their attention to you? Cut
your losses and move on.
Don’t rush the joke. Speak at a reasonable pace –
not so slowly that you bore the crowd, but not so fast that important
words get garbled. Pace and coherence are very important in the joke –
make sure you have both.
Make eye contact with the people you’re telling the joke to,
and distribute it evenly. This involves each person as if you’re
talking directly to them, but be sure to alter your eye contact so as
not to focus on any one person.
Don’t laugh at your own joke. Your own laughter can
break your momentum as much as any other interruption.
Most importantly – commit to the joke. Believe in the
joke and in your ability to tell it in a funny way.
Of course, if you’ve followed the advice in this article and put your
best foot forward, then you’re on your way to becoming the hit of any
gathering, party or speaking engagement.
Excerpted from The Complete Idiot’s Guide
to Jokes.
Larry Getlen is the author of The Complete
Idiot’s Guide to Jokes.
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